Under Attack
by TheAmazingShipsAreNotOnFire
Summary: Multi chapter. Dan is attacked by familiar enemies and Phil wants to help him. But when threats to their lives are made, how will Dan and Phil cope? Includes issues involving homosexuality/Personality and anxiety disorders/character death/smut/language. Pairings Phan. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! Bonjour! Hola! Aloha! Welcome to my multi chapter Phanfiction. I keep saying I'm going to update my Divergent fanfiction but that's not going to happen anytime soon. Sorry! I'm going to get on with the story before I start rambling.**

**DISCLAIMER: The plot and writing are mine. I don't own Phan. I ship it. **

**WARNINGS: Language. **

**Chapter 1:**

**Dan's P.O.V**

The group of thugs pin me up against the wall. They aren't thugs really; I know them from my high school. Unfortunately, they live in the same building as me and my boyfriend Phil. We have just come out on the Internet and of course the thugs found out.  
"Got anything to say gay boy?" One of them spits at me. He has multiple piercings and is fit and bulky. His name is Sam, the leader of the bullies of my high school.  
"I would say something but it's nothing you haven't heard before." I smile sweetly.  
"Yeah, whatever faggot." He punches me in the gut. I double over in pain, groaning. I stand up straight again. I smirk at Sam and head-butt him. He stumbles back. His little groupies throw me against the wall. My head scrapes against the bricks. I slide down the wall. Sam stands up and looms over me. I felt 1,2,3,4 kicks in my ribs and stomach. Dragging myself up, I throw a punch at Sam. I miss, losing my balance for a couple of seconds. Sam's mates, Jordan and Mark take advantage of this. They push me into the wall. The blood from the back of my head trickles down my neck. Sam, Jordan and Mark are laughing viciously.  
"Do you think you're hard, homo?" Jordan snickers. "I don't think so" Sam punches me in the face multiple times. I spit out some blood. I fall to the floor again, barely conscious. I am bombarded with kicks all along me body. Throwing my hands in front of my face, a sharp kick connects with my right wrist. I yelp; the pain is excruciating. The beating continues for about five minutes but it feels like it lasts for an eternity. Sam, Jordan and Mark walk away, leaving me on the pavement. Black spots appear at the corners of my eyes.  
"DAN!" A familiar voice shouts. I recognise the voice as Phil. The last thing I hear is pounding footsteps against the pavement and Phil's desperate voice shouting my name.

(Page Break- **Switched to PHIL'S P.O.V**)

I am flipping through a random magazine when Dan wakes up. I stand up by his bedside. He groans and tries to sit up but I push him back down.  
"Don't get up. Just stay down." I whisper, stoking his cheek lightly.  
"What happened?" Dan asks, wincing as he shifted to face me.  
"You were attacked, Dan." I say. "They gave you 3 broken ribs, fractured wrist, a gash on the back of your head and innumerable bruises." I feel tears creeping into my eyes. Dan's chocolate brown eyes widen as he remembers the events of last night. I climb onto the bed next to Dan and wrap my arms around him. He starts to cry. I comfort and tell him 'everything's gonna be okay.' But what if it's not going to be okay? What if whoever attacked Dan comes back? What if I can't help him and next time he ends up dead? A tear slips down my cheek. Dan notices and wipes it away gently with his left hand.  
"What's up?" Dan asks, concerned. I shake my head as more tears come pouring down my cheeks like a river.  
"I just don't want to lose you." I sob. Dan pulls me closer.  
"You won't ever lose me, okay?" He says.  
"But what if those people come back?" I ask, looking into his gorgeous eyes.  
"They won't. They've had their fun." Dan tries to reassure me but it doesn't work.  
"Who attacked you, Dan? Please tell me" I plead. He sighs but answers me.  
"Those men from the floor beneath us. You know the ones I went to school with- Sam, Jordan and Mark." I nod, I know who they are. They bullied Dan in school. They had all being to prison once or twice before they moved into our building. Picking up my jacket off the chair, I make my way to the door.  
"Where are you going?" Dan asks. I spin and face him.  
"Just going to pay our friends, Sam, Jordan and Mark a visit." I reply, in a sarcastic but serious tone.  
"Phil, don't. I don't want you getting hurt." He says, his chocolate eyes wide and pleading.  
"Fine Dan. I won't go and see them." He smiles, relief in his eyes.  
"I'm going to go back to our apartment and get you some clothes. The doctor said he will discharge you in a couple of hours." I hate lying to Dan but I need to get away to see the scumbags that attacked him. I love Dan too much to let them get away with putting him in hospital. I walk out of the main doors and get into the car. I drive to our apartment, guilt start to overwhelm me. I ignored the thoughts coming to me of actually doing what I told Dan I was doing. He wouldn't be really mad would he? Well, I guess I'll find out…

**A/N: Sorry! I know you might be annoyed that I left it on a cliff-hanger ending nut I had to end it at some point otherwise the whole story would have ended up being a really long one shot. Next chapter will be uploaded in a couple of days! Bye for now, guys! ~Em :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the second chapter! This has taken ages, I'm so sorry! I'm not going to go into the excuses, I'll end up giving you a full page of them and then you won't get a chapter! See you at the bottom of the page! ~Em ;) **

**DISCLAIMER: The plot and writing are mine. I don't own Phan. I ship it.**

**WARNING: Language, fluff edging on smut. **

**Chapter 2:**

**Phil's P.O.V**

I pause at the door of the attacker's apartment. I suck in a deep breath and knock. The oak door creaks open. A bulky man with multiple piercings stands in the doorway.  
"What do you want?" He snaps at me, looking me up and down.  
"Oh, I just came to say, stay away from Dan Howell. Or else." I say sternly, trying to seem strong and brave, like a lion.  
"Well, well. Aren't you brave, trying to protect your boyfriend?" He says in a singsong voice. I curl my hands into fists, the little scumbag notices and chuckles.  
"Do you think you can take me down? I doubt it, seeing as your precious Dan couldn't even get more than one punch in." He smirks. I take a threatening step towards him. He doesn't take a step back; he presses his hands into my chest and pushes me back with all his force. I fall to the floor.  
"Come near me again and me and my mates will end Dan." He says before slamming the door in my face. I get up and brush myself off, my eyes wide. He threatened to kill Dan. Panic sets in. Maybe I should have listened to Dan. Now because of my stupidity, I've put his life in danger. I run up the stairs into our apartment and shut the door, double checking the locks, just in case. I walk into Dan's room and start collecting clothes and anything else he will need, not thinking about anything else except the threat.

Half an hour later, I'm back at the hospital with Dan. He smiles as he opens the black duffel bag that contains clothes and his laptop.  
"What took you so long?" He asks. I can't lie to him.  
"Ermm. I m-might of, ermm, gone t-to see your, ermm, attackers and t-told them to stay away." I stammer. Dan's face darkens.  
"You did what?!" He shouts. I look at my shoes- feeling ashamed.  
"I had to Dan. I don't want them hurting you. But I made it worse. I'm so sorry!" I reply.  
"Why did you have to try and save the day? How much worse have you made it?" Dan asks.  
"They threatened to kill you, Dan." I whisper.  
"Fuck." He curses under his breath. A solitary tear slides down my cheek. Dan sighs and wipes it away.  
"Oh, Phil. Don't you worry about me. Be brave like a lion." He tries to comfort me. His lion comment makes me smile but I find no comfort in his words.  
"It's all my fault they threatened you. I should have listened when you told me not to go over and see them. I'm so stupid." I rant, pacing up and down. Dan grabs my wrist.  
"It's not your fault. You were just trying to protect me. Thank you" The look in his eyes tells me not to panic but I can't seem to calm down. Dan forces me to sit down in the chair while he gets ready; I can't stop shaking. I'm dreading going back to our apartment. What if they kill Dan as soon as we get back? I wouldn't be able to live myself with myself if that happened. A cold hand grasps mine. I look you. Dan is stood there with a smile on his face but when I look in his eyes, I see the same fear I have reflected in his.  
"Ready to go, brave lion?" Dan asks, planting a kiss on my cheek. I laugh slightly.  
"Yeah I am, bear." I reply, standing up. Dan's doctor gets him to sign the discharge papers then sends us off on our way. We sing to Muse on our way home, trying to forget the imminent threat to Dan's life. Dan sends a tweet to the Phans thanking them for their support, letting them know he's okay and will upload a video when he feels better. They knew Dan had been in hospital and was injured but they didn't know what had happened.

I turn onto our street and the car goes silent, a pin could be heard dropping. The smiles drop off of our faces. I park and we clamber out of the car. I suck in a breath. Dan pulls his duffel bag from the back seat and shuts the car door. We walk up the stairs one after the other, within arm's reach of each other.  
"Home sweet home." Dan says, flopping down on the sofa. He's already assumed his Browsing position. I smirk.  
"You've been home for a minute and you're already in your sofa crease." I cross my arms over my chest trying to be serious.  
"Well, yeah. I haven't been at home, so of course I'm gonna browse for the next 14 hours, just like usual." Dan winks, dimples showing. I flop down next to him.  
"I'm thinking we could do something a little more exciting." I place my hand on Dan's thigh. He looks down at my hand and slides his laptop away.  
"Oh really." He says seductively. "What are you thinking?"  
"You know what." I roll my eyes. Dan lunges at me, smashing his lips into mine. It takes me a few seconds to react but then I'm kissing him back with the same passion and ferocity. I slip my hands under his shirt, stroking his perfect back. Dan tugs my shirt over my hand and continues kissing me, only breaking the connection when I pull his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor next to mine. We're kneeling on the sofa; I push Dan down, leaning over him. Starting at his ribs, I kiss every bruise he has gently, his smile of pleasure reassuring me I'm not hurting him.  
"Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" I whisper, climbing off of Dan and taking his hand. He only nods. I lead him into my bedroom. Once again, I push him down and continue to kiss his bare skin. He grabs my bum. It feels so good. He slowly brings his hands to my crotch, unbuttoning my jeans. He pulls off my jeans, leaving me in my Superman boxers. Dan rolls me over and now he's the one leaning over me. I pull off his jeans, tossing them onto the floor. He finds the sensitive spot on my neck and kisses it, nipping it a little.  
"Dan..." I moan. He grins.  
"You like that?" He whispers in my ear. I moan, which Dan takes as a yes. The feeling of pleasure overwhelms me. Suddenly, tiredness sweeps over me. Dan continues kissing and nipping my neck until he realises I'm not excited anymore.  
"What's the matter?" He asks, looking into my eyes.  
"Nothing I just feel tired." I reply, yawning. I had spent half of the night before awake by Dan's bedside, just in case something happened.  
"I bet you do cause knowing you, you didn't sleep last night."  
"How do you know that?"  
"Cause you worry too much about me." He rolls onto the bed next to me, enveloping me in his arms. I snuggle into his bare chest. He strokes the top of my head, kissing me every so often. My eyelids droop as Dan, thinking I am asleep, whispers: "I love you, Phil. More than you will ever know." I finally drift into sleeping, finding comfort in the fact I am wrapped safely in Dan's arms and he will never leave me until he's dead.

**A/N: I was thinking about my excuses and I realised I only have one. YouTube. Yep, I've been having a Dan and Phil YouTube marathon over the past few days but I started feeling really guilty about not writing this chapter so I disconnected my computer from the internet. Worst thing I've done! Chapter 3 is in the works so that should be uploaded soon-ish. Some of you may disappointed by the last paragraph with the borderline smut in. That's the first time I've written anything close to smut so I was just testing it out. Please feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think of the smut. I have written another one-shot and I'll upload that as well. Until next time fellow Phans! ~ Em ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey! Welcome to chapter 3! Some serious stuff is going to go down in the next couple of chapters. Enjoy! ~ Em ;)**

**WARNINGS: Language.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Phan. I ship it.**

**Chapter 3**

**Dan's P.O.V**

I wake up in Phil's bed, my arms wrapped around him. Damn, he looks so cute when he's sleeping. I slowly pull my arms from around him and get up. I check the time: it's 9:30. How am I awake but Phil's not? I remember him telling me he was tired. Leaning over, I kiss his cheek before walking out of the room. I walk into the kitchen and switch on the kettle. A loud bang makes me nearly drop the mugs I just picked up on the floor. I set them on the counter before running out.  
"Phil? Is that you?" I yell. No answer. I grab a umbrella from the rack and hold it like a baseball bat. I creep towards the front door, where I heard the noise. There is an envelope with the words _Dan Howell _scribbled on it. My hands shake as I pick the envelope up. How did it get there? I don't remember me or Phil locking the door last night. I hear footsteps behind me. I spin around and swing the umbrella at the unknown person.  
"Ahh! Dan!" The voice is Phil's. He is on the floor; he had lost his balance when he ducked to avoid the umbrella.  
"Phil! I'm sorry. Are you okay?" I say, helping Phil up.  
"I'm okay. You nearly killed me with that umbrella. What's the matter? Why are you swinging an umbrella around like a crazy person?" Phil asks. I shove the envelope into the creases of the umbrella.  
"I thought I heard someone in the apartment. I don't think we locked the door last night." I lie.  
"No, we didn't. I'm gonna make some breakfast. Do you want some?" I nod and Phil walks away to the kitchen. I run into bathroom and lock the door. With shaking hands, I open the envelope and pull out the piece of paper inside. It is a letter. It reads:

_Dan,_

_You may not know that your boyfriend Phil paid me a visit yesterday. How stupid! I don't take threats lightly. You and your twat of a boyfriend will pay for what he said. Just you wait. I'm going to enjoy my revenge. Spend your days wisely, Daniel because you haven't got many left. _

_With hatred, _

_You Know Who._

I feel faint and sick. I lean over the toilet and throw up. Sighing, I sink down to the floor and curl into a ball. Sam has numbered the days Phil and I have left to live. I don't want to tell Phil but he has a right to know, his life has been threatened too. I pull myself off of the floor, flush the toilet then exit the bathroom. Phil has made us each tea as he hands one to me when I reach the kitchen door.  
"Phil? Can we talk?" I ask.  
"Yep sure! Let's sit in the lounge and talk." Phil replies, leading the way into the lounge. I take a deep breath and follow him. Phil sets down his mug on the table.  
"What's up?" He asks as I sit down.  
"I'm sorry Phil. I lied to you this morning. Sam… He… He got into the apartment because we left the front door unlocked by mistake and he wrote a letter telling me that he has numbered the days we have left to live. I'm scared Phil. I don't want Sam and his friends killing you. I don't want them to kill us." I blurt out, watching Phil's eyes widen and a look of shock take over his face. I give him the letter. He reads it, tears starting to fall down his cheeks.  
"I… I…" Phil murmurs before running out of the room, letter in his hands.  
"Phil!" I call, running after him. He is lying on his bed sobbing, his face in his pillow. I sit beside Phil and rub his back, soothingly. He turns to face me, his aquamarine eyes shining with tears  
"I don't want to die, Dan. I don't you to die. I'm nothing without you." Phil whispers  
"Oh, Phil. Don't worry, they won't kill us; they can't." I whisper back.  
"What do you mean?" Phil is confused.  
"I mean, they can't kill us if they have the police watching them 24/7."  
"So we're going to tell the police then?" Phil asks; I nod. He sits up and kisses me before going into the bathroom. I'm glad Phil's happy we're going to the police about Sam and his friends but I can't help thinking that if they find out, we're in big trouble.

Phil and I stand outside of the police station. He gives me a small, weak smile before leading me into the station. There is a tall officer with dirty blonde hair stood at the front desks. He notices and beckons us forward. We don't hesitate to move closer.  
"Good afternoon, how can I help you?" He asks, in a dull monotone.  
"Hi. I'm Phil Lester and this is my boyfriend Dan Howell. Dan was attacked two days ago and he has now received a letter threatening both of us." Phil says.  
"Right, let's take this into a questioning room, so I can take notes of what you're saying." The officer motions for us to walk down the corridor. We wait behind him as he unlocks the door. Phil and I hold hands as we sit down. We both need the support off of each other.  
"Okay, I'm going to ask you questions regarding the attack and the letter. I need you to answer truthfully." The officer says.  
"How did the attack happen? Is there a reason it happened?" I take a deep breath and answer  
"Well, an hour before the attack we put a video up on YouTube because Phil and I are YouTubers telling our fans we are gay and are in love with each other. I went out to get some milk when I was attacked; it took me completely by surprise."  
"Do you know who the attackers are?"  
"Yes I do. Sam Thompson, Jordan Payne and Mark Smith."  
"You said you received a threatening letter. Did you bring it with you?"  
"Yes, we did." Phil hands the letter over. The officer reads it then says:  
"In the letter, it says that Phil threatened the men. If this is true, what did you say?"  
"I didn't threaten them, I told them to stay away from Dan. I didn't say I would hurt them"  
"How did the men take it?"  
"The one who I was talking to pushed me to the ground and said if I go anywhere near them again, they'll kill Dan." Tears are staining Phil's cheeks. The officer asks for our details, descriptions of Sam, Jordan and Mark and any other information. Phil tells the officer their address. We walk out of the station, hand in hand. We drive home in silence, Muse playing in the background the only noise. Parking up in front of our building, Phil turns off the engine but doesn't get out. I look at him. Tears are falling down his cheeks again. All of this is really taking its toll on Phil. He's panicky as I lead him out of the car, up the stairs and into our apartment. He keeps looking over his shoulder. I'm starting to worry about him. He walks into his bedroom, undresses and climbs into bed, pulling the sheets over his head. I join him.  
"It's going to be okay Phil." I whisper.  
"I'm scared, Dan" He whispers back.  
"I know." Is all I can say. I'm scared as well. It's different for Phil, he wasn't bullied by Sam, Jordan and Mark. I had to put up with their teasing and beatings for 3 years. Phil was never bullied in school. I fall asleep worrying about Phil.

**A/N: I'm not sure about this chapter. I don't know why, but I'm not sure I like it. What do you think? Let me know in a review! Anyway, WOW! Two updates in less than 24 hours. That's a record for me! I've already started writing Chapter 4. That will be updated in a day or two. I'll see you then~ Em ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey! Chapter 4 is here! YAY! I'm enjoying writing this story so much. I can't believe how quickly I've been able to write these chapters. Maybe the music I've been listening to helps – Ed Sheeran's album Multiply. I've listened to the whole album a couple of times. It's great. Anyway, on to the chapter! It picks up a couple of days later. I wanted to spin this around and make Dan the vulnerable one for a while. Enjoy! ~ Em ;)  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Phan. I ship it.  
**

**Chapter 4**

**Dan's P.O.V**

"Will you please go to the appointment, Phil?" I beg. I booked Phil an appointment with a psychiatrist because I'm worried about him. Every time we go out, he's always looking over his shoulder and getting panicky. It's because of the threat.  
"I don't want to, Dan. I'm not crazy. I haven't got problems." He says.  
"Phil, you get panicky every time we walk out the door. Please, just this one time and if you don't like it, you don't have to go ever again." I say.  
"Fine but you have to have an appointment as well." I look at him, quizzically.  
"Why?" I ask.  
"I know you've been having nightmares, Dan." He shrugs. It's true. I wake up in the middle of the night from haunting nightmares that are starting to mess with me. I get panicky sometimes as well, so I can understand Phil waning me to have an appointment as well.  
"I haven't made one for myself though" I want to get out of having an appointment.  
"Don't worry. I made you one." Phil smirks. I sigh. Why didn't I realise Phil would do the same thing to me? I smile at him and grab his hand. As we walk out of the door to the car, I notice Sam leaving his apartment. He stops in front of us. I tense up. Phil glares at Sam. With nothing other than a death stare, he saunters away, leaving Phil and I standing in the hall. I am shaking uncontrollably. Phil looks slightly worried but shakes it off before turning to me.  
"Dan, baby, come on. Let's go." He whispers.  
"Why didn't he say anything?" I ask.  
"He's messing with us. Just try and ignore him." Phil kisses me gently on the cheek and drags me out into the bitter cold of the beginning of spring in Britain. I calm down on the drive over to psychiatrist. When we get there, we have to climb 4 flights of stairs to get to the damn office. That's torture in itself. I am out of breath when we finally get to the door of the office. Phil is about to open the door when I wheeze out:  
"Wait a second. Let me catch my breath." Phil laughs that adorable laugh he has. I just want to launch myself at him and cuddle with him forever. But unfortunately, I can't do that. Phil pushes the mahogany door open and we are greeted by the smell of pine disinfectant. A woman in her thirties with her ginger hair pulled into a tight bun greets us with a fake, toothy smile forcibly plastered on her face.  
"Good morning! How may I help you?" She asks, in an annoying cheery voice. You can tell she's completely faking being cheery. She must really hate her job but she probably wants to keep it.  
"We have appointments, Philip Lester and Daniel Howell." Phil states.  
"Ahh, yes. Here you are. Welcome back, Mr Howell. Welcome, Mr Lester. Have a seat over there and your doctors will be out soon." She points to the two long lines of chairs at the other side of the reception. I have being here before. A couple of years ago, I had an anxiety disorder so I came here for some therapy sessions. I got over the anxiety with the psychiatrist's help and Phil's; that's when I fell in love in with him.  
"Daniel Howell?" A cubby man with a salmon pink shirt and a black tie calls out. I stand up and suck in a deep breath.  
"Philip Lester?" A thin man walks next to the chubbier one looking around the empty reception. Phil stands and we walk towards them together, not letting go of each other's hand until we're lead into separate offices. Phil shoots me a reassuring look before the door shuts on him.

**(SWITCHED TO PHIL'S P.O.V)**

The doctor ushers me into an armchair by the window. He sits in the seat opposite me with a clipboard and a pen.  
"Okay. So first things first, we are going to do some introductions then we'll talk about your problems." He says. I nod.  
"I'll start. My name is Dr Walsh and I'm going to help you deal with your problems. You turn, Philip."  
"Okay… My name is Phil Lester and I'm here because my boyfriend asked me to come?" I'm not sure if I said the right thing. Dr Walsh smiles at me. I must have done it right.  
"So, Phil. What reason has your boyfriend asked you to come for?" Dr Walsh asks.  
"We've received a threatening letter, it told us that the sender is going to kill us, and so, I've been panicky and anxious most of the time because they have come into our apartment. I don't feel safe at all, even in my own home. I panic that they are going to come into our apartment at night or drag us into an alleyway while we're out and kill us in a terrible and painful way." The words tumble out of me, panic building up. My breathing becomes shallow.  
"Phil, listen to my voice, okay? You are safe right now; I am not going to hurt you. Just take deep breaths to calm down." I listen to Dr Walsh and start to take deep breaths. I feel myself calming down.  
"Are you feeling calmer now?" Dr Walsh asks. I nod and smile weakly.  
"Yes thank you for calming me down. Can I have a glass of water please?" I ask.  
"Of course, help yourself." He points at the jug of water and glasses on the side. I walk over and pour some into a glass as Dr Walsh makes notes. I sat back down and sip the water slowly.  
"I'm going to be completely honest with you, Phil. From what I've seen today, I'm diagnosing you with Panic Disorder. This is a type of anxiety disorder and you will experience severe panic attacks. You will need to come and see me once a week until you have it under control, right now it's not under control. Your partner can calm you down during panic attacks by talking to you like I just did when you started to have an attack. Have you experienced anything like this over the past week?"  
"I've been crying and hyperventilating a lot." I admit, thinking back to the past couple of days. Dr Walsh nods.  
"Thank you for telling me that Phil. I can confirm for diagnosis. That's it for our session today. I want you to schedule an appointment foe the same time next week."  
"Okay. I will. Thanks Dr Walsh. Bye." I say, walking out of the office.  
"Bye for now, Phil." He says. Dan walks out of his office and smiles at me.

**(GOING BACK IN TIME AND SWITCHING TO DAN'S P.O.V)**

I sit down in a chair by the window. My doctor sits opposite me and stares at me for a moment before speaking.  
"Good morning, Daniel. I'm Dr Green. What brings you here today?" He asks.  
"It's just Dan and my boyfriend has been worrying about me." I smile when I think of Phil just in the next room.  
"Do you know why he's worrying?"  
"Yeah, we have received a death threat and I've been suffering from bad dreams and I've been panicky ever since."  
"Have you ever suffered anything like this before?" Dr Green is taking notes on everything thing. I sigh.  
"Yes I have. I suffered from an anxiety disorder a couple of years ago. I think I have relapsed but it's gotten worse. I am an insomniac but I could sleep and now I just can't. It feels like the fear is taking over me sometimes." I explain. Dr Green stares at me some more; it's really starting to annoy and freak me out.  
"Anything else?" The Doctor asks.  
"Yep." I stand up and show him my hips. There are 5 cuts, all caused by a razor.  
"Did you cause these?" I nod, ashamed.  
"Dan, from what you have told me and shown me today, I am diagnosing you with Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I want to come and see me every week for therapy sessions. Do you understand?"  
"Yes, I understand. Thanks, Dr Green. See you next week." I say while walking out.  
"Bye Dan." Dr Green gives me a kind smile.

Phil walks out of the office opposite me at the same time. He smiles and reaches for my hand. I latch onto his cold hand and squeeze it gently. We go back to the front desk and make appointments for next week. Exiting the building, we stand in the bitter cold until I catch my breath again. **  
**"So, how did your appointment go?" Phil asks; he looks slightly on edge.  
"Okay, I guess. My doctor told me I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder." I try to act casual. Phil stands up and pulls me into a hug.  
"Oh, Dan! I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." He exclaims. Why is he sorry? Why is it his fault? Phil didn't attack me or send threatening letters.  
"Phil, none of this is your fault. Promise me you'll never think that." I say, staring into his aquamarine eyes. Phil murmurs something like 'I promise.'  
"Anyway, how did your appointment go?" I ask.  
"Good. I know why I'm always panicky. I've got Panic Disorder so I have panic attacks." He answers, suddenly cheerful. "Oh, this is how to calm me down if I have a panic attack." Phil hands me a piece of paper; I read the words on it then shove it my back pocket. The cold is starting to get to me through my leather jacket so I get into the car, pulling Phil with me. I look at him seductively and he knows what I want. Phil bites his lip; he is so innocent. I mouth the word 'Drive.' and without hesitation Phil ignites the ignition, excitement present in those dreamy blue eyes.

**A/N: I think I need to change the rating on this story. Especially for what I plan on writing next chapter. Some smut (all the way!) and major violence! I am going to go into Dan's self-harming next chapter. I need to stop writing really long authors notes at the beginning. Bye guys! ~Em :) **


End file.
